ScoobyDoobyDoo

[Collette Darden <csdarden@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

This is what SCOOBY DOO is all about:
Everyone remembers the cartoon show Scooby-Doo from their early childhood,
right? But something you may not remember is what the show was really all
about. As I've gotten older, it has become more clear to me what Fred,
Shaggy, Daphne, Velma, and Scooby were actually 
doing as they traversed the continent foiling crimes of all sorts in the
Mystery Machine.

       What We Remember:
Four teenagers and their trusted dog gallop across the country in their
purple and green van solving mysteries of all sort-- and in the process
meet all kinds of interesting people.

        The Truth:
Four high-school dropouts and their sentient dog ride around the country in
their psychodelic love machine, earning their way by selling drugs. Oh, and
they occasionally take some old guys mask off to solve a mystery.  It may
be a little hard to swallow, but just take a look at the evidence:  Take
Shaggy for example. Not only is he the inspiration for the current 'grunge'
scene, with his sloppy dress and facial hair, but Shaggy is obviously a
'burner', i.e., he smokes marijuana. Why do you think he is constantly
hungry? Shaggy can make a six foot hoagie and swallow it whole. And then
there is Scooby himself. While dogs do not generally smoke joints, Scooby
gets his 'high' from Scooby-Snacks, which are in fact Hash-Brownies.
Whenever Scooby, or Shaggy for that matter, eats a Scooby-Snack, they go
ape! It just blows their mind and they do whatever they are told, because
they are so lit! Scooby is also hungry all the time.  The other characters
do not actively take part in the stoner-fest that Shaggy and Scooby do, but
they do condone the selling of it because it helps support their jaunts
across the country (and the world--they drove to China once). These other
characters do have their own peculiarities however..
Fred and Daphne are always splintering off from the group to go 'solve the
case' by themselves. It's no real mystery what these two are really
doing--they're getting busy in the back of the Mystery Machine.  Daphne
with her pretty pink, well, legs and Fred are constantly bumping uglies.
Fred is, by the way, pumped up on steroids. One thing that remains a
mystery to me though, is why he always wore that stupid scarf around his neck.
    -------<Hickeys???>---------
And what about Velma? Everyone's least favorite of the cast, was of course,
a lesbian. But, as it turned out in the later episodes, she was also into
beastiality. Where do you thing Scrappy-Doo came from? Scrappy, who was a
dog yet spoke perfect English, was obviously a product of Velma and Scooby.
 So the kids spent their teenage years driving around the world, Slangin'
dope, shooting steroids, eating hash brownies, and fucking their dog, while
all the while looking 
for the perfect 'hit'.  If we had only known these things when we watched
this cartoon as children...