[Jokequeen] Signs Santa's Elves Are Suffering From Career Burn-Out

[Collette Darden <csdarden@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

>Date:         Tue, 16 Dec 2003 21:18:00 -0800
>From:	"ScoreLarge.com" <jps@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>Subject: pushing the limits in humor today. :)
>To:	csdarden@xxxxxxxxxxx
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>~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
15.Five minutes into the Christmas Eve flight, it becomes apparent someone 
Ex-Laxed the reindeer's feed.
14.More and more break room discussions about joining the military -- 
especially after Legolas' e-mail detailing the primo tail that the boys in 
archery are scoring.
13.Too many elves are spending their lunch hour huddled around the 
bong-assembly line.
12.The wheels on the latest batch of toy trucks look suspiciously like last 
year's leftover Barbie heads.
11.Children start receiving gifts like "Chainsaw Massacre 
Legos,"  Transgendered Raggedy Ann/dy" and "Melted Mass of Crayons."
10.Them ain't Lincoln Logs on the conveyor belt.

9. Ater just one hour, a shaken Tony Robbins emerges from his North Pole 
"Unleash the Power Within" seminar, quietly gives Santa a refund, then 
wishes him luck and leaves.
8. They're *all* scheduled to appear on Dr. Phil December 26th.

7. Toy rifle production had to be out-sourced to a South Korean ClausCo 
subsidiary after a rash of devastating workplace corking rampages.
6. Frequent nooners in the reindeer stalls.

5. No longer enthusiastically participating in Hawaiian Shirt Fridays.

4. Let's just say that Santa's gonna be looking for a new ride when he 
finds out the truth about the venison stew for this year's holiday party.
3. The toy trains? Nothing but salami and duct tape.

2. This year's hot new toy: the Amazing, Incredible Rough-Hewn Block of Wood!

1. "Hello? FBI? I have information about that grandma who got run over."

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