[Jokequeen] New Drugs for women

[Collette Darden <csdarden@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

> D A M N I T O L
> Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
>
> ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
> Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers 
> unconscious for up to two days.
> E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
> Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of 
> how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
> P E P T O B I M B O
> Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an 
> evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents 
> conception.
> D U M B E R O L
> When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in 
> enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
> F L I P I T O R
> Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the 
> urge to flip off other drivers.
> M E N I C I L L I N
> Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal 
> lines as, "You make me want to be a better person . Can we get naked now?
> BUYAGRA
> Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, 
> and credit limit of spending spree.
> J A C K A S S P I R I N
> Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, 
> anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.
> A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
> A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to 
> share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
>
> N A G A M E N T
> When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation 
> level as nagging him
> Now, send these to any woman who needs a good laugh, and any man who can 
> handle it.
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