C.D.S.

[Collette Darden <csdarden@fyiowa.infi.net> (by way of Richard Lockhart <rlockhar@direct.ca>)]

DON'T LAUGH, IT'S TRUE! IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!

Right now, thousands of agitated, irate women have read this headline and
are contemplating similar action against you the next time you make an
unwanted sexual advance, look at them the wrong way, or just generally piss
them off!

MEN, PROTECT YOURSELF NOW !!!
If you found yourself a victim of CDS ( Chop and Drop Syndrome), could you
be sure the appropriate authorities would find your chopped member in time
and intact?  Could you be sure the penis part they find is even yours?

INQUIRE NOW ABOUT OUR LOW COST PENIS PROTECTION PLAN  !!!

PLAN A:	BASIC PACKAGE:
We'll register your penis and scrotum and tattoo them with your own unique
registration numbers, insuring that in case of separation, you'll get a
perfect match every time!

PLAN B:	JURASSIC PRICK PROGRAM:
We'll take a cell sample from your penis and clone replacement parts for
you in the event a tractor trailer rig runs over your penis, or some wild
animal mistakes your detached member for a chew toy!!

PLAN C:  	BALLS OF STEEL:
For those of you who believe in prevention, we offer a one- size- fits
-all, battery operated stainless steel jock strap that can be worn when
necessary. When you're asleep, an alarm will be activated when metal or
other hazardous objects come within one foot of the jock strap. This will
guarantee you a full night's sleep, free of worry!!

DON'T GET CAUGHT SHORT...

ORDER NOW!!!  CALL 1-800-SAV-A-DIC TODAY!!!
New insurance program, phone this number to check out rates and options.