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Your days are numbered, sequentially.

The days have long past when one could eat the insides of one's tumble dryer, without the now all too familiar problem of slow turnip disposal. We now yearn long, for the days of old when raw carpet was publeserted in a bodily cavity for a moving parasol violation: alas these days are no more, the lighthouse keeper has exploded into a fridge. No no, no-no no no, no-no no no, no-no there's no limit. But before we make the mistake of examining why so many rashers of bacon were used in building the new bathroom, we will continue.

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Remember, a life is not available in any shops, please just check any shop assistant for confirmation of this fact.

Life is like an oil sump, except where not.

The fundamental problem with fundamental problems, is that they wholly consist of fundamental problems, this leads to a fundamental problem, in that the extraction of a fundamental problem from a fundamental problem is all that can be achieved. We can conclude therefore that neeeeeeppppleegudge ark ark I'm a pterodactyl. This leads us back neatly in to the plot where you weren't in the previous non-existent episode, and I was busy mowing the pond.

Chapter 668 - Someone's neighbour

Kinda like a cloud I was up in the sky and I was feeling some feelings you wouldn't believe, sometimes I can't believe them myself and I decided I was never coming down. But just then........

Snubblegurfindodawhopshadolala briskly entered the vast, nay some would go so far as to say minuscule, floorboard.

"Do you have to pick your deck-chair in time with the rhythm of the mars bar?" asked Snubblegurfindodawhopshadolala.
"Glue oo u ink loo bar? Mar do cooking more may clucking flicking?" replied Sahchrixis.
"No, my stamps need polishing and I only have time to grow a marrow." Snubblegurfindodawhopshadolala answered, clearly puzzled by the cardboard.
"Ring-finger" Sahchrixis affirmed.
"Promise carved in stone.", Snubblegurfindodawhopshadolala said rapidly, not wishing to offend.

At this point, it would be wise to remind the reader that Snubblegurfindodawhopshadolala is a nonsensical character name constructed with lots of syllables, consonants, vowels and letter type thingies, that when strung together make a word. As the reader is no doubt aware the Snubblegurfindodawhopshadolala part of the word, is silent in nature. Meanwhile, four hours later.

"You've eaten all the telephones, now how am I going to construct a life size model of Bruce Forsyth?", asked Sahchrixis, in a rather stern wardrobe.
"Ack, ack ack, ack AAAAACK..... don't run, we mean you no harm. Buzzzzzzzzt.", was the somewhat venuevricated reply from Snubblegurfindodawhopshadolala.
"Ah yes, but the floor polisher has eaten far too many worms."
"Only if we take into account the speed of frozen penguins, and even then it may be difficult to justify using a whole screwdriver.", Snubblegurfindodawhopshadolala thoughtfully said, while playing the piano in the style of someone who couldn't play the oboe on Tuesdays.
"Welcome to the moment, this is it, this is all you get. So, just receive the info and then flow, but be prepared to here no. Oppression suppression the pressure is on to live right. But what's right, that democracy might, prove to be a fallacy and dwindle away to the injustice present today.", Sahchrixis rapidly retorted.

"REFRIDGERATOR", shouted the voice from above "Fridges are nice, fridges are cool, just you go'n ask any old fool. They hum all day and they buzz all night, and if you're very lucky it'll have a little light. They come in my colours, most of which are bright, but if I had a choice, I would certainly chose mine to be white."

Snubblegurfindodawhopshadolala was having none of this, promptly side-stepping the rather large hole in the ground that had opened up with a large refrigerator style smashing noise, "This will not do. I cannot be responsible for the removal of dead slippers from your conservatory." The voice from above was obviously charmed by the soft feathery tones of Snubblegurfindodawhopshadolala, and promptly sent a further forty-two rolls of linoleum in a rather appetising apple sauce.

Sahchrixis thought all of this very amusing but did not count on a heard of mad skirting-board running through the arbour, shouting "Frog."

Chapter IV - Poison

"I wish I had of known what I didn't know then, I'd of never of been caught in a night that never ends. There's a blackness all around that I cannot see, but whatever is out there is eating up the inside of me.", Borewiz said, in a way that indicated it was stating fact rather than proffering conjecture at to the use of live toothbrushes in circus acts. Lazing in the midnight darkness, Sahchrixis pondered this thought, while throwing dead elephants into a sea of green.

"Sahchrixis," Borewiz called, attempting to get the attention of a mobile builders yard, "The altimeter indicates you should not use any red piggy-banks."

Sahchrixis was by this time confused as to how one could be and not be in the same place at the same time, but managed to offer one observation, "Your sock is getting cold and the steering-wheel only needs half a turn."
"Nurgle-noop nurgle-noop, you should never go to bed without a nurgle-noop. It has a place for your pictures and a bowl for your soup, so you should never go to bed without a nurgle-noop.", quipped Borewiz.
"That may be so," Sahchrixis replied, " but have you considered the advantages offered by plastic bags filled with leaves?"
"Oh no, your not... But you... But... Agggghhhhhh noooooooo! Anything but the wet fish." Borewiz calmly screamed.

Suddenly everything turned orange.

Note: The author does not condone the throwing of live elephants for sport or any other recreational purpose, without the express permission of the local telephone company.